Fayetteville NC Residents Share Stories
Coming out is a big life event for many members of the LGBTQ community. It is a form of expressing oneself and being open about their gender identity and their sexuality.
Each year, October 11 is National Coming Out Day in honor of those who choose to live as themselves.
For Martinique McLaughlin, originally from New York, her coming out experience was rather positive.
McLaughlin turned out to be a lesbian while married to a man, her high school sweetheart.
“I’m so attracted to women physically, but because of my Catholic upbringing, it was kind of like a no-no,” she said.
When she took her ex-wife to Thanksgiving in 2011, she said her family noticed their closeness and began to question their relationship.
“I’ll never forget, my mom and dad kind of stuck me in a bathroom at their house and they were like, ‘You have to tell us what’s going on and who this young lady is to you. Why is she around you and our grandchildren and what’s going on? ‘”She said.” So I knocked her over because at that time I was 26 years old and I was living alone and owed nothing to anyone so I was like, ‘This is my girlfriend, and I love women, and I don’t think that’s a fad, I think it is. what I really am. ‘”
McLaughlin said she wasn’t sure her parents really got it when she told them, but they were very welcoming and inviting.
After coming out, she became a spokesperson for the LGBT community.
Derrick Montgomery, originally from North Carolina, had a much more negative experience after writing a letter to his mother while coming out.
“It was constant that I was an abomination to God, and I was a sin, I must give my life to Christ,” he said. “My dad was very abrasive about it. To this day, he still either doesn’t agree with it or respect it too much.”
Not only was his family relationship strained after coming out, he was also kicked out of his church after his mother handed over his coming out letter to their pastor.
“I felt like a suspended man with no foundation, no support,” he said.
Montgomery said his relationship with his mother and brothers has improved dramatically over time.
He is now married with three adopted children and works to help others like him. Two years ago, Montgomery was able to open a seminary school, Ministries United in Christ, for people from all walks of life.
For those who share similar experiences and tell stories like his, he advises them to pray.
“I have had a life of constant prayer,” he said. “This is where my strength comes from, and I think at that point, instead of running to find someone who loves me, I went to God and allowed him to build me emotionally. for my trip. ”
The coming out experience
For McLaughlin, the coming out experience meant inclusion and understanding.
“I think it’s so important for us as a community to accept everyone and not be prejudiced because it’s almost the same as being African American or Latino where I went through prejudice because of my appearance or the way I speak, ”she said. . “I don’t want to be prejudiced based on who I choose to love.”
For Montgomery, the coming out experience meant a lot to him since he was able to help others afterwards.
“I truly believe it was an opportunity for God to show Himself that He breathes through all mankind and speaks to all of mankind,” he said. “It is as if my whole life is an example to people who have come from my experiences or similar experiences, whether their child or whether they are the only one, that God is amazing. same-sex loving can have quality families, they can love Christ, they can be in faithful, monogamous relationships and carry the promise of God. “
Editor-in-chief Akira Kyles can be reached at [email protected]
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