Daniel Craig let men down everywhere with his James Bond awake not sleeping and was eclipsed by Ana de Armas
WE don’t have much to look up to as guys anymore – but James Bond has always been a safe bet. Until now.
Handsome, tough and charming, the world’s most famous super spy has long been the patron saint of masculinity – and like millions of men, I wanted to be him while millions of women wanted to be with him.
But I’m sad to say, he let us down. Wrong.
Little summed up 007’s tragic loss of credibility more than Daniel Craig’s appearance at the new blockbuster’s world premiere on Tuesday in a fuchsia crumpled-velvet jacket and questionable makeup.
I was fortunate enough to join the cast – including movie villains Rami Malek and Maddie and guests including Idris Elba and his wife Sabrina and Jason Momoa at the Royal Albert Hall on Tuesday for the world premiere of the long-awaited 25th release of 007, No Time to die.
But despite lead man Daniel disguising himself as an Austin Powers womanizer, in nearly three hours of filming, the action hero didn’t embark on a single sexually charged adventure and was on several occasions overshadowed by the film’s female stars after Phoebe Waller-Bridge was brought in to revise the film’s script.
In fact, Bond’s lone sex scene felt more like a cozy commercial for M&S as he delicately rubbed shoulders with lover Madeleine Swann, played by Lea Seydoux – who wore a cardigan at the time. No one should be laughing in a cardy outside of a care home.
When he wasn’t doing healthy hugs, he mostly apologized to his supposed MI6 rival, Nomi, played by Lashana Lynch – awkwardly tiptoed around the fact that she had just stolen her thunder as meanest secret service agent.
But worst of all was the introduction of Ana de Armas as Paloma – the most amazing Bond Girl of a generation – who stole the show with a blend of beauty and strength that 007 just couldn’t. to manage.
Rather than save the day, shoot the girl and go out into the sunset with a smirk, semi-guilty, Bond is impressed, intimidated and blown away by the gorgeous brunette who casually pulls out a semi-automatic and sends dozens of baddies forward. bid the supposed hero farewell with a casual joke that saw him beaten at his own game.
And that just won’t do.
No Time To Die is an enjoyable movie – but that’s not the point here. Bond’s character is tall enough to withstand the onslaught of waking culture, his too legendary legacy to care about political correctness – but suddenly he’s a sensitive drop.
With discussions raging about who might be the next man to step into the iconic tuxedo, I think we’re missing out on the real issue. You can put Noel Edmonds in a dickie bow for whatever I’m worried about, but I want him to shoot baddies and get fucked – and I don’t want him to apologize for that afterwards.
This last Leap has been far too shaken and agitated. . . it is time he got back to basics – for the sake of people around the world.
BASH IT OUT
It was a late night for the cast and other stars, but not just because it was 11 p.m. by the end of the nearly three-hour movie.
They headed to London’s Annabel’s Members’ Club for a glitzy after-party and were pictured leaving early, as if they had made full use of the free bar.
THE RETURN OF CARDI ON THE DRESS
CARDI B is ready to return to work just three weeks after giving birth to her second child.
She spared no expense on this red sequin bodycon dress, which she paired with a massive feather neckline at a party for Paris Fashion Week on Monday.
Rapper Wap, who also wore a blonde wig, had the extravagant costume made by designer Thierry Mugler, whose party she was attending. Cardi has yet to reveal the name of her newborn son, who is the little brother of her daughter Kulture.
One thing is certain though – with her as mother and rapper Offset as father, these kids will have plenty of wacky gear for their costume box.
The mess of Doherty
A HTEL business run by Babyshambles star Pete Doherty has literally become a shambles, having plunged Â£ 600,000 into the red.
The rocker, inset, who now lives in France and just got engaged, had to use the taxpayer-funded leave scheme to pay staff at The Albion Rooms hotel in Margate, claiming Â£ 145,000 through the retention scheme in employment in seven months as the hotel’s losses more than doubled.
Financial accounts for 2020 show the hotel employed up to 12 people, three more than the previous year, and show losses of Â£ 598,000, up from Â£ 277,000 the year before.
Pete and his fellow Libertines Carl Barat, John Hassall and Gary Powell are all directors and major shareholders. Accounts show the hotel is worth less than Â£ 1million, but the company owes creditors around Â£ 1.6million, which puts it in the red of some Â£ 600,000. Ouch.
SMITH ON BODY SIZE
BASTILLE has spent most of a decade in the public eye, but now frontman Dan Smith has spoken for the first time about his body dysmorphia.
The singer, who is set to release the band’s fourth untitled album, gave his most personal interview of all time in the first issue of British magazine Rolling Stone, out today .
In the magazine, he explained, âI think I was a pretty shy teenager, and I was also a pretty heavy kid. In the summer of my third year of college, I ended up unintentionally losing a lot of weight.
âI think I went from 17th to 11th in a very short period of time, which was a pretty massive physical transformation. I had always been a big kid, then a bigger young adult, so that was part of who I was and how I saw myself. Strangely, this is always how I see myself because it was my formative years.
âSo even after losing a lot of weight, I’ve always been embarrassed and uncomfortable about my appearance. I’ve never expressed that publicly and I think I just carried that kind of awareness. myself with me I guess I probably have a level of body dysmorphia.
This means Dan is feeling weird in front of the cameras, which has caused him to reject the chance to join The X Factor as a judge. He continued, âGetting in front of the camera to do the things you do in a group have often struck me as strange and unnatural. We have never done television.
âI turned down a lot of interviews and panels, I was a judge on The X Factor and all those things that I just didn’t want to do. These were all amazing offers, but that wasn’t what I wanted to get out of them.
Now the band is focused on their fourth album, of which they released three singles including Thelma + Louise – and it’s not the only track inspired by a movie. Taking the Blade Runner, Total Recall and The Matrix films as influences, Dan added: âI started writing all these songs inspired by the cinematic universes I want to be in, as well as fictional stories I want to escape from. .
JIMMY CARR admitted that “very little” of his original face still exists because he did a lot of cosmetic work.
He confessed: âI got a little crazy with this, I have new teeth and new hair – I had a real midlife crisis. Like, okay, let’s do it all.
âI took a little Botox, a little filler – whatever I can do. My face is now like the Trigger Broom from Only Fools And Horses, very little of the original is still there.
Jimmy just wrote an autobiography called Before & Laughter and said he did it for the sake of his son, after recently confirming he was a parent.
Speaking on Radio 2, he said: âI have a child now. I’m going to be an old dad, so by the time I get to give him life advice, I’ll have forgotten everything. So I thought I would put it in a book and then it will have it.